Monday, August 15, 2011

Am I paranoid, or is it nothing to worry about?

I'm just a nervous wreck in general. Around people I can at least act with decent confidence, but if they are not people who I know very well, I secretly feel very uncomfortable and just keep to myself. And throughout day, I will often feel overcome by anxiety, just really stressed in general, even if there is nothing for me to be stressed out about. I'll be anxious about one thing or another, and when you add socializing to the mix, it's almost unbearable. I'll be in cl and hear someone say something across the room or something of the sort and think, "Are they talking about me? Is she looking at me? Is he making fun of me? Are they laughing about me? Are my friends talking about me behind my back? Can I trust anyone?" It goes on and on. And it's almost as bad when I'm on my own. That's when I think, "I feel like I'm being watched. I'm not alone. What was that noise?" Just a little while ago, I bent down to unplug something that happened to be near the fireplace. I heard the howling of the wind through the chimney unexpectedly, and I nearly jumped ten feet into the air out of shock. I"ve come to a point where if someone comes up to me out of nowhere, or if I hear a creak, I will jump. Sometimes I will feel very cold and more nervous than usual and must force myself to slow down my breathing. I know that my mother has panic attacks, but those are far more severe, and she will get hot, just absolutely paranoid, has no control of her breathing, and must have someone to help her through it and relax her, whereas I can keep it concealed well from most peoples' viewing, and if on my own, can just rough it out and allow it to go away. I know it's nowhere close to full blown, but if it progresses, then I could get to that point, and that would be a problem. I just wonder what the problem is, if it's anything for me to worry about or tell anyone about, and how to relax myself. Please help. Thank you.

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